Today has been a really hard day. 😥
Today I boxed up all my Eiffel Towers and gave them away. It’s kind of like having to be the one to decide to terminate life support on your spouse. It seems like the right thing to do at the time, but once it’s done…you don’t know how to go on yourself. 😥
I never realized just how many I had. I did keep all the ones with little notes from my ex on them. I’ll eventually place them in my Pandora’s Box with all my other pictures, letters, wedding rings and other momentos. 😥
Each one reminded me of so much, like when I got them or where we were. I’ll never have another love like that. My 1st wife told me (as she was leaving me) that I had to set her free, if we were meant to be together we would one day. That was over 11 years ago and the only letter I ever sent her (at her request), went unanswered. I don’t even know if she ever got it. So one day I mailed her baby pictures back to her parents…figured they would rather have them. 😐
Somehow I know this is different. I know my ex is gone forever like my appendix. There will be no sudden regrowth, no miracles, no prizes of her in my Cracker Jack box. She really is free to be happy out there in the world better for not having me, better for having had me (hopefully), but one never knows these things….do they? 😦
). Everyone I have ever loved, is gone in one way of another. The only one who truly loved me as I am, was my ex, and well I guess that time has passed. She has moved on, and I’m still here…alone. 😥 I think of all the people whom I have loved or who said they loved me and my ex was the only one who I think actually meant it.
~*~ Arsenic & Apathy *~* 