Another year has rolled by and I am alone as usual. I digress, I am not just alone…but I am lonely. 😥 Funny thing is, one day last week a woman at work was talking about those of us who live alone. According to her logic, by living alone “we learn more about ourselves…we have time to think”. 😐
Well here’s what I have learned… I have learned that the longer I am alone, the more critical I become of others. While I used to talk about people, it was with my ex and we would laugh as we said crazy things..well since I have no one to talk to, my comments are being more mean and less amusing. I no longer envy people with their “loved ones”, now I see them as wasteful heathens with blatant disregard for anyone but themselves. 😡 I have learned that having someone to talk to is not important if the TV works, besides they would probably not want to hear about whatever I’m whining about today. 😦 I have learned that if given enough time, I could in fact pluck every single hair from my body. Trust me, on this one….I’ve tried and there is never enough time. 😳 I have learned that I eat an exorbitant amount of cereal… I think I single-handedly keep soy bean farmers afloat. 🙄 I have learned that the things I have learned are stupid….I would rather live with someone who loved me as I loved them, with all my heart and soul. But since they do not exist…I have learned that my life still sucks. 👿
I have, however, started the wheels of my bankruptcy in motion. No, I am still not ok with it..but it’s not like I have a choice. The nice lady I spoke with made it seem like all would be right in my world soon, but 5 years is a long time….so we’ll see. 😕
As is standard, I will be at work for the Holidays instead of with my loving family. Oh wait, what loving family? Hell, for that matter what family? 😥 Don’t get me wrong. I know I am blessed (as I’ve stated many posts before). Right now there are so many millions without jobs or homes or a prayer. Right here where I work, there so many people without any sort of “good” in their lives that it would break my heart if I still had one. There is a woman who just found out she may have colon cancer, another woman whose husband may be dying, a woman who used to work here is currently in the hospital, and of course “her” father is dying (again). 😐 So I understand that my problems are minuscule in the grand scheme of problems, but nonetheless they are still there, so whatever.
http://www.last.fm/music/The+Emotions/_/What+Do+the+Lonely+Do+at+Christmas
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