Yeah it’s been a minute…. 😕
I hope you had at least the chance to see some turkey for Thanksgiving…maybe even had the chance to share some time with those you care about and/or love dearly. I spent it where I spend all my days. No, not laying on my living room floor crying…I was at work crying (so there 😛 ).
See this year Thanksgiving fell on a pay week. “HOORAY, you say…you can go Christmas shopping!!!” 😀 NOPE, I say!! Besides I don’t “do” Christmas {look it up….it’s in March..for goodness sakes}, I had so little money I had to take all the money out of my “piggy bank” and my meager Savings account and there are still bills that will go unpaid. 😳 {Did I mention we got a raise on this check?} Also it’s my ex and my Mother’s birthdays next week. So things just keep getting better! 😦 I know most people don’t see the problem here, but for me this is a MAJOR problem. I may forget to pay something, but I never purposely “forget” to pay something. I mean I’ve had nothing but change (less than $1.00) in the bank before but that was always after all my bills had been paid and I had food to eat. Not this time. 😥
[The irony? My mother always said I was the responsible one. I never shirked my responsibilities, and look where it got me? Alone and broke.]
Whatever………………………………… 👿
Thanksgiving much like every other holiday of late…………sucked maggot infested roadkill on the sunny side of the street. 😡 My mother spared about 3 minutes to tell me I was working too much and should enjoy life, while simultaneously telling me about all the people who wanted to spend the holiday with her. I was too drunk and too busy crying myself into a coma to really even care. Oddly some people at work offered to bring me food since I didn’t have a family. Not surprisingly, no one came through (except my Ladybug..we ate Subway sandwiches 🙂 ). I didn’t expect anyone to bring me anything anyway….every time they offered I would say “Well I don’t want you going out of your way or anything…if you happen to remember me I’d appreciate anything you brought me” and they would say “Oh it’s no trouble, I’m eating too, so I’ll bring you something”. Well I guess they ate everything….no one thought about me. My ex, didn’t even offer…guess she too could have cared less.
Whatever…………………………………………………… 👿
And “her”? Well technically she’s MIA. She’s been missing from work and no one knows where she is. I do know she was still alive as of yesterday…she sent me a text. Her usual ramblings of madness & mayhem. She went to see her family, who if I am interpreting her message correctly (one never knows with her) weren’t so thrilled to see her. Personally I don’t blame them, but still it was a holiday and she is their sister….but I don’t know, And right now, I don’t care. 😐
Whatever……………………………………………………………………… 👿
So it has been decided. Life has finally beaten me to within an inch of my life. I am officially going to figure out how to file bankruptcy and try to at least get it started while I’m off for my birthday. This December marks my 20 year anniversary since I got my very first credit card. I’ve had lots of ups & downs since then. I’ve been unemployed many many times, gone through a couple surgeries, a couple of exes and now after all this time of constantly trying to beat the statistics of Black people with bad credit… I am done….I am just another face of the masses.
Whatever……………………………………………………………………………………………………………… 😈
http://www.last.fm/music/Coldplay
*I remember when I used to rule the world……….”*
~*~ Arsenic & Apathy *~* 