It was a dark day… Christmas.
While the rest of the world was huddled with the warmth of their family, I was alone.
I was as alone as one can be. No one to care for my where abouts, no one to even care if I was alive or dead. But still I carried on. I did not know what else to do. I was tired physically, emotionally and my soul cried as it is want to do.
The world was ensconced in the bright, flickering lights of happiness and love. But I was encased in the dark matter that is my own private world. Each step I took, merely a memory my body held on to in the hopes of finally being comfortable in the rut my path had become.
It was the Holidays…but there wasn’t even a lump of coal for me to lament over. No one remebered me and the happiness I thought I had once given so freely to them. I was just…there. My heart too weak to muster a mornful wail…but still I carried on.
My mind was lost in the pity party my heart was giving that it wasn’t invited to and I wandered in to “her”. As the world moved around me like the snow in a Winter Wonderland snow globe…”she” brought me into focus.
There before me was a voice…talking to me.
To me?
As I stood there, the voice continued to engage me… wait…. engage….ME?
Yes, “she” was talking to me and I peered out from the Lost and Found box that is my life…to actually see “her”.
I was like toys in Salvation Army bin…hoping for someone to want me but expecting to just be shelved and dust covered until deposed. But there, from the twinkle covered world, “she” stood…talking to me.
“Her” smile like water to my dried heart…refreshing, “her” voice a song my soul never knew…but longed to never forget, “her” eyes smoldering like the embers of a passion my body longed for…but believed never possible.
I could still hear “her” in my dreams but I knew “she” would never sing for me . “She” brought to me the longing of a dying woman… “she” made me ache with the need of her but I knew “she” was gone from me and on to another more deserving soul…
“She” was hope and I am just a hopeless romantic seeking a hopeful one….and “she” is not seeking me…………………………….
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