I am the biggest fool I know. I used to think I was moderately intelligent, but as I life and breathe…I have learned differently. 😦
I never ask for help and am always criticized because I don’t lean to others when I need to. There is precedent that dictates my behavior. It is not because I am so self sufficient that I rest solely on me. If I mess up, it’s OK, I probably didn’t know what I was doing anyway. If you mess up for me, then I was a fool for asking you in the first place. 😐
Someone volunteered to help me….then did a worse job then I could have done. Then another volunteered to fix the mess. Foolishly I agreed. 😡 For this I extremely saddened. Because now I am twice the fool, which is just why I never ask. I thought my request was simple. It required nothing that I did not provide. It has however become the corner stone of a madness I should have foreseen.
As a matter of fact I believe Nostradamus spoke of it.
At the intersection of happiness and “Oh My God, we’re crashing into a brick wall!”, lies “her”.
And she has once again proven that even in something where there is no room for interpretation, she can find a way to ruin it. My request was born out of my own madness, admittedly. I was so caught up in thinking I was being explicit in my direction that I could not see that fact I was speaking to “her”. The “her” that makes me scream for the sweet release of death. The “her” that makes me regret any- and every- thing I have ever wanted, said, done, or thought.
I see once again why my ex would never consider me as her her soul mate…. I am but a court jester acting out the follies of my insanity. 😥
~*~ Arsenic & Apathy *~* 