I very long time ago I knew a woman, I use the term woman loosely because she had aspirations of becoming a FTM, even then no one referred to him as a a “she”. 😡 He was a lot older than I and had lived quite a life before I met him. He wasn’t the most stable person around and illegal substances were his method of coping. I wanted to learn more about him… find out what him who he was. He knew how to keep a secret, something few people can do effectively these days…yes even me. 😕 But he had dreams of owning a BMW and becoming a Security Guard, dreams I couldn’t understand or even fathom. 😯
A Security Guard…dream? This made no sense to me. 🙄
Here I was thinking I was going to be the next Dr. Ruth or something and I had goals of having a loving family, a large home, multiple pets and driving a Jaguar. 😀 I went to College for heaven’s sake (several in fact)…he didn’t even have a GED. He spoke of past jail time and I spoke of past vacations. He told of wine, women & song and I talked of the sex I’d read about volumes of literature. His past was dark like the secrets he hid in his closet…cold and away from peering eyes. 8) My future was a bright as my view of the world…open & new. 😮
In my world there were never two more different people than us. I considered him a failure… even his “dreams” were beneath me. 😳
Now fast forward the more than 15 years it has been since I last saw him.
Our lives, I’m quite sure took extremely different paths. I even saw him once or twice in a crowd at a gay club and he was still the same as I remembered. You know, the “loner type”, wouldn’t even make eye contact, but I knew he saw me… watched me even. 😉
Many years later I wondered what became of him. Did he ever get that job or that car? Did he succumb to the drugs he loved so much? 😈
I never found out. But you can rest assured, he held on tight to his dreams no matter what ever happened…wish I could have said the same.
Oh how wish I could have said the same. 😥
~*~ Arsenic & Apathy *~* 