Today I peered into the mouth of the Beast…and it was not good. Not good at all. 😈
Remember those housewives of the fifties? They were stoic, with impeccable taste they held their perfectly coifed heads high. Their lipstick was never smudged as they made a family each and every day as perfect as the day before. If you remember them, then you also knew they were a as real as their tinsel Christmas trees in their Ranch style homes with the station wagon in the driveway. They smiled to the world while they took all sorts of barbiturates behind closed doors. Their husbands drank and had mistresses and their children were budding anarchists and killers in the making. In essence, these women did what they thought they had to. 😦
I was to do the same. 😥
I am a reader, of people and of words … and neither one very well. I knew bankruptcy was my only option but as I was still fighting the inevitable I tried one last stand. After reading many stories of people in similar situations and speaking with those who had experience where I had only questions…I came to a decision. I would attempt to impart unto “her” that we were long past what I wanted in a relationship. We had reached what I needed in a relationship…and what I needed was money. 😡
I had resided myself to do what I had to do to survive. I knew that meant giving up who and what I was, to become who and what I needed to be. I was going to have to become as those fifties housewives….amiable to her whims and ignorant of my own. I was going to have to learn to accept my fate, such as it is and deal with whatever madness she threw at me. I had to…my livelihood…my house was is at stake. 😯
I gathered up my reserves and asked her to move in with me. I explained my financial status and why I had waited so long. She knew I was not the type to arbitrarily ask for help, so if I asked I was long past needing it. Well as is with such things, she was willing but she had just signed her new lease after much delay. Here I was trying to save myself and ask for someone to throw me a rope and apparently all the ropes had been burned up in a fire. 👿
Oh well, it won’t be so bad, right? 😳
I mean when they come to take my house I can always move in with my Mother. Plenty of forty year olds live with their parents, right? There is no shame in that. What a joyous day that will be? Hooray, maybe we could get Food Stamps too. 😕
http://www.last.fm/music/Nina+Simone/_/I+Wish+I+Knew+How+It+Would+Feel+to+Be+Free
~*~ Arsenic & Apathy *~* 