My life is so messed up, that I actually created a mathematical formula to show just how messed up it really is. 😥
{(-z + δ/-$) x A∞ -J = §} +{§ +(rr²/L∞) x G + δ}= ??
It looks better on paper than it does here. I had to improvise some of the symbols.
Now, I know what you’re thinking. You’re saying “wow, that is the work of a true genius. I am astounded at the complexity this problem represents. I wish my simple brain could explain life in such intricate, yet simple terms . She must have worked on the LHC team.” 😯
OK, so maybe that’s not quite what you were thinking. It was probably more like…”WTF? The is the work of a some truly insane person. Who would sit there and come up with such madness?” 😕
Either way 😛 .
I will explain.
See here lately 🙄 I have become quite listless…quite, well I’m not sure the word, but just know that since things are never right in my world I’ve been truly feeling like just chucking it all. You know? As if my own guilt wasn’t heavy enough I began to feel even more guilty because here I am complaining about my life while people in the path of Hurricane Ike lost everything. 😥 While granted I have no one, I at least have my home a job, and the ability to function. Some of those people lost all their worldly possessions and some even lost their lives and/or loved ones.
I began to ponder the purpose of my continuing my sham of a life. I serve no actual purpose, yes yes I know “You touch the lives of countless people around you and you may never even know it”. 😐 Some quack wrote that non-sense and I’m in no mood to counter it, so whatever. Anyway, I started to see the value of my dissolve, the few who would even notice would eventually breathe a sigh of relief because they would no longer have to hear me whining “oh poor me”. 😦
And then to top it all off there I was at my weakest, worried about losing my job, trying to plan for the High Holy Day (and by that I mean Halloween…my favorite day) which is really hard in it’s own way. On or near Halloween I realized I’d lost my 1st wife, it was the favorite day of my 2nd wife & I, then I spent last Halloween putting “her” out of my house. So I was trying to take it back this year, but the stress of working continuously and being afraid of buying the few things I have because who knows if I’ll need the money before it’s all said and done. Well anyway out of the blue “she” suggested we have sex. Her father’s in the hospital most likely dying so she was feeling pretty down, I’m feeling like I’m at the end of a flaming rope… so why not (besides no one else will touch me). Well of course now that it’s done, I’m feeling worse. I feel like 1.) I’m cheating on some phantom lover and 2.) I know she’ll be thinking it’s more than it was. It was sex, even she said so…but we all know they type. “The I’ll tell her whatever it takes” then WHAM!! “when she’s not looking I’ll try to weasel my way into her house” type. So naturally I’m feeling really uneasy now because I know I’ll be forced to break her back down again real soon. 😡
But well anyway I at least explain my formula. {(Lack of sleep (-z) plus extreme despair (δ-closest symbol to a noose) divided by severe debt (-$)) multiplied by continuous anxiety (A∞) minus any minuscule of joy (J) equals a descent into hell(§)} plus {a descent in to hell(§) plus a lot of reasonable regrets (rr²) which are divided by severe loneliness (L∞) all multiplied by mountains of guilt (G) plus more despair (δ) equals HOPELESSNESS (??). So you see convoluted yes, but you have to admit, still the work of a genius and we all know they are borderline insane.
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